A lot of people think that “an eye for an eye” came from the bible, but it actually came from Hammurabi’s code, which predated the bible. I learned this when I was plotting to get revenge on my roommate for farting bare-assed on my pillow and giving me pinkeye. I accordingly decided to fart bare-assed on his pillow but my stomach was mighty upset and I unloaded a huge diarrhea shit on it instead.