[https://www.deviantart.com/fishsandwich314/art/To-pee-or-not-to-pee-868166047](https://www.deviantart.com/fishsandwich314/art/To-pee-or-not-to-pee-868166047) original

 **To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:**

**Whether it’s more expedient to suffer**

**The stings and harrows of outrageous pressure,**

**Or to take seal from a balloon of troubles,**

**And by releasing, end them: to drain, to soak;**

**Relief! And by a soak, to say we end**

**The belly-ache, and rife abdominal shocks**

**That flesh is prone to; ’tis a saturation**

**Discreetly to be wrought. To drain, to soak;**

**To soak, perchance to chafe — aye, there’s the rub:**

**For with that rash relief, what rash may come,**

**When we have funneled off that visceral toil?**

**So that idea is out. But why not just**

**Relieve behind some tree? There’s the respect**

**Of social norms and local ordinance.**

**For who would tolerate the crawl of time,**

**The requisite restraint continually,**

**The pangs of burdened valve, the flow’s delay,**

**The abstinence of orifice, and the churns**

**That bulging of impatient bladder makes,**

**When he himself might his quietus take,**

**And bear it furtively with respite bare**

**On countenance? Yes, who would farts forbear,**

**To grunt and sweat under a weary strife,**

**But that the dread of legal consequence,**

**That mandatory lodging, in whose care**

**Transgressors must sojourn, muzzles the whiz,**

**And makes us choose our present nether strains,**

**In place of others that we know not of?**

**Thus decency makes cowards of us all,**

**And thus the yellow hue of resolution**

**Is smothered over by conformity,**

**And enterprises of great pissing torrent**

**With this regard their currents stop and plug,**

**And lose the name of satisfaction.**