[https://www.deviantart.com/fishsandwich314/art/To-pee-or-not-to-pee-868166047](https://www.deviantart.com/fishsandwich314/art/To-pee-or-not-to-pee-868166047) original
**To pee, or not to pee, that is the question:**
**Whether it’s more expedient to suffer**
**The stings and harrows of outrageous pressure,**
**Or to take seal from a balloon of troubles,**
**And by releasing, end them: to drain, to soak;**
**Relief! And by a soak, to say we end**
**The belly-ache, and rife abdominal shocks**
**That flesh is prone to; ’tis a saturation**
**Discreetly to be wrought. To drain, to soak;**
**To soak, perchance to chafe — aye, there’s the rub:**
**For with that rash relief, what rash may come,**
**When we have funneled off that visceral toil?**
**So that idea is out. But why not just**
**Relieve behind some tree? There’s the respect**
**Of social norms and local ordinance.**
**For who would tolerate the crawl of time,**
**The requisite restraint continually,**
**The pangs of burdened valve, the flow’s delay,**
**The abstinence of orifice, and the churns**
**That bulging of impatient bladder makes,**
**When he himself might his quietus take,**
**And bear it furtively with respite bare**
**On countenance? Yes, who would farts forbear,**
**To grunt and sweat under a weary strife,**
**But that the dread of legal consequence,**
**That mandatory lodging, in whose care**
**Transgressors must sojourn, muzzles the whiz,**
**And makes us choose our present nether strains,**
**In place of others that we know not of?**
**Thus decency makes cowards of us all,**
**And thus the yellow hue of resolution**
**Is smothered over by conformity,**
**And enterprises of great pissing torrent**
**With this regard their currents stop and plug,**
**And lose the name of satisfaction.**