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Hi. My name is Anna and I have an extremely rare condition called cringe. As soon as I came out of the womb, I whipped and nae-nae’d and from that point on, everyone hated me. And things got even worse when I became older and started going to school. I used to accidentally poop in my pants during recess and all of the kids laughed at me. One time when I was 8, I dabbed and a concerned woman called the government and they wreaked fucking havoc. I got the fuck out of there.

I hid in a bush and waited in fear. Then I heard someone approaching and I got spooked. I then took a peek at who was approaching. I saw the most handsome boy I had ever seen. He had drip, he had a huge dick, and he was most certainly hot as fuck. I said hi to him and I got the biggest motherfucking boner I had ever gotten. While talking with him, I learned that his name was Sam and that he did so many cool things like sports, skateboarding, sticking his penis in The Elephant’s Foot, you know, average boy things. But I fell in love with him and I think my pants just got a bit wetter.

Over the course of my school years, we bonded more and more. I never really got the chance to confess my feelings for him. One day, me and Sam were walking in the hall when suddenly, the meanest girl in the school and her gang of motherfucking bitches walked up to us. “Yo what’s up you cringe bastard?” the girl said. They all started laughing at me and I was embarrassed again. I hadn’t done shit, why the fuck were they laughing at me?

The absolute meat of this story comes when I was in math class. The mean teacher in the class looked at me and said “what’s 9 + 10?”. I said “19”. “WRONG ANSWER, **insert n word here**” she said. I gasped and said “THAT’S RACIST YOU CAN’T SAY THE N WORD!” and the teacher sent me to the principal. What a fucking bitch.

Needless to say, the bitch suspended me for about a week. I was really mad and wanted to kill the racist teacher. When I got back however, everything changed.

Everyone was cheering for me when I entered the building. “I welcome Anna as the new queen of this school!” one boy said. “Yo Anna, I want to penetrate you with my 9-inch pickle!” another said. I walked into the class and Sam picked me up and whirled me around. He said “You are the hottest thot I have ever gosh darn seen!”. He then kissed me and I didn’t know what to think. We all stripped and had a massive fucking orgy right in that classroom. After that was done, me and Sam both flossed and dabbed. That was the best fucking day of my life.

But my glory days were short-lived. The most popular girl in the school burst into the room and said “Hey bitch you should die.”. I got pissed and kicked her in the vagina with my big ol’ cowboy boots. She blew up into a gory mess and everyone cheered again. They gave me a crown, I became ruler of all the land, I was more powerful than god, I got access to the nuclear launch codes, all the good stuff.

Me and Sam are also married with a baby who can talk and can do the macarena. I couldn’t be happier with my life right now. I may still have cringe disease, but that didn’t stop me from living my best life. The end.

Also I sucked off Mickey Mouse at DisneyLand and now we’re divorced lol