My attraction to cows has impaired my financial stability. This all began at the ripe old age of 8, when my uncle adopted a calf often referred to as “Flash”. I had struggled to make friends at school, and I didn’t think my life would be enjoyable in the slightest. However, “Flash” had resulted in the returning of my terribly missed joy. I would constantly convince my mom and dad to take me to my uncle’s so I could meet “Flash” and run down the beautiful countryside hills, *together*. Now, cut to two months ago. Life is good, like real good. I was making 80,000 USD every year at my office job at Durex©. Every fine morning while getting prepared for work, I would always think about cows and those fabulous moments with “Flash” when I was just a wee lad. Usually though, I would wake up slightly earlier so I could take a small detour for my daily commute, past a nearby farm. I would often indulge in great conversation with farmers there about the evolution of cows and the immense beauty of life and the greatness of our own existence & planet. The best part about those daily visits was meeting, greeting, and petting those beautiful bulls and cowabunga cows. The most loyal one was “Samantha”, and the farm owners of whom I would talk to about life, would let me feed her every time I could get the chance. One day though, two months ago, I spent far too much time interacting with “Samantha” and the outcome was my 2 hour late arrival to my Durex© office job. My boss “Andy J. Sensebaugh” was absolutely devasted. “Andy J. Sensebaugh” my boss had demanded I explain why I was late, and I then logically and reasonably described my affixation towards the beauty of the cow & bull species. I was not excused, but instead, ridiculed and ashamed by “Andy J. Sensebaugh” my boss and my colleagues. I did not expect a reaction as inappropriate as this, and I then went on to own the fam gangsta syle. “Andy J. Sensebaugh” my bossdid not take this lightly, and fired me from my office job at Durex©. All that hard work, all that explaining, just for a firing? Absolute nonsense. Now, I have no pay. I no longer can afford to pay off the bills for my house, which meant I had to sell my 2007 Mazda 6 “Cow Car”. However, I can visit my local farm and say “Good morning” to “Samantha” much more often now, but that doesn’t change the fact that I may need to live on the street in a very short amount of time.