Luigi is the best guy from Mario, okay?

In the comments of my Super Mario World video, I had some guy saying “thank God Luigi isn’t in this game”. Well guess what, asshole? Luigi is in the game actually. In fact he’s the first boss.

Luigi was originally just a palette swap of Mario resulting from his name sounding like the Japanese word “Ruiji”, meaning Mario’s brother, but he later started being given other attributes such as… John Leguizamo, and other palette swap.

He would also go on to star in his own hentai game. called Mario is Missing which sees him undressing Bowser to save his brother. That’s right – Luigi was the hero here. As was he in Luigi’s Mansion. Hahaha, laugh at Mario because of how bad he is! I bet Mario couldn’t rescue himself.

It was at this point that Luigi’s popularity was so high, Nintendo had to bring in a bad version of Luigi to help balance him out. Now, did Mario ever get a guy like this? Nope!

They even tried making him the villain in Super Paper Mario, but uh-oh! Luigi Saves the day yet again.

You’d think in a game called Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga they’d once again be equals, but no. In this game Mario wants to be like Luigi so bad, he tries to turn green but dies and then that – then, there were no more of those games.

Remember when Mario 64 came out and Luigi wasn’t in it, but there were all these rumors like if you go to the back right side of Peach’s Castle do the Mario, you’ll unlock Luigi as a playable character? Then they turned out to be false and Mario 64 went on to be one of the worst games in Mario history. Even IGN gave it a bad review which you know at the time was a Nintendo 64 fan site called GameSpot, so that’s how you know they weren’t being biased. Then they remade the game for the DS a year later with Luigi in it and the reception was through the roof.

The game was so successful that Nintendo launched a Year of Luigi campaign to celebrate all things Luigi. We got a new Luigi’s Mansion, uh, 6000th New Super Mario Brothers, uh, we got Dr. Mario with the green filter over it, we got the new Luigi RPG where he copes with the death of this brother. Uhh, they put out this really weird parkour video, lost like half a billion dollars and killed the dude who played him in the live-action series, so if that’s not a celebration, I don’t know what is.

To top it all off Luigi has a much better taste in women than Mario. How many times has Princess Peach been kidnapped? The counter of the Nintendo website currently says a million, which is high as shit. Luigi’s girlfriend, Bayonetta, on the other hand actually knows how to fend for herself.

Luigi may have not been in Mario Sunshine, but it’s okay because someone modded the game to add a co-op mod which lets another player control Shadow Mario, oh wait… But at least in Super Mario Odyssey there’s gonna be a co-op mode that lets you control the ha- oh, fuck’s sake.

Luigi will always be the better of the Mario brothers, he outshines Mario in every way, okay? Mario always resorts to violence in order to save the princess, but Luigi… can get a hole-in-one almost…

There is just no competition when it comes to these two, and I will not hesitate to block anyone who says Luigi isn’t the best Nintendo character of all time.