In the first age, in the first basement, when the porn addictions first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Pornhub, his soul blistered by the fires of Hentai Haven and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual coom. In his ravenous lust he found no peace; and with emptied balls he scoured the internet seeking revenge porn against the puritans who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Neckbeards, and those that tasted the bite of his cock named him… the COOM SLAYER!

Found in r/shitposting comment section.