Now I, for one, think evolution is a bunch of BULL CRAP. But I’ve been told I have to teach it anyway. It was thought up by Charles Darwin and it goes something like this: [goes up to a large poster of evolution and begins pointing things out with her pointer.] In the beginning we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more retard babies, and then one day, a retard baby fish crawled out of the ocean with its [waves his left hand limply] mutant fish hands… and it had butt sex with a squirrel or something and made this. [points to a rodent] retard frog squirrel, and then that had a retard baby which was a… monkey fish-frog… And then this monkey fish-frog had butt sex with that monkey, and… that monkey had a mutant retard baby that screwed another monkey and… that made you! [faces the class. A new girl is seated in the front row, looking around] So there you go! You’re the retarded offspring of five monkeys having butt sex with a fish-squirrel! Congratulations!