What the Belgian chocolate fudge did you just say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals with a 100.0 GPA, I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Qaeda, Taliban, and the Islamic State, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces. My dad was the Grand Wizard of North freaking Korea back in the 1860s. He has earned so many PhDs that Galileo had to invent the concept of infinity to be able to accurately measure his intelligence. My mother is the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara in all her eternal glory before she freaking crafted the Abrahamic God with her own freaking milk, which comes out of her mammary glands already Pasteurized and homogenized. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the Inferno out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth—mark my freaking words. You think you can get away with spouting that poppycock to me over the Inter-freaking-net? Think again, you elvish stockfish. My sister is the Attorney General of the United Nations and will prosecute you for defamation with fire and fury faster than you can tell your zero friends that you’re going to a maximum security prison that my brother designed and single-handedly built as the head architect of the entire Mine-freaking-craft nation. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now, so you better prepare for the storm, maggot—the storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re freaking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred and sixteen different ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. I’ve personally tested each of these ways with the scientific method, and all of them have reduced my POW test subjects to elemental freaking carbon and a wisp of hydrogen and oxygen gas. I took all their leftover nitrogen and fertilized the Arabian desert, and thanks to me, all of the Middle East is now a luscious jungle with thousands upon thousands of species contributing to a unprecedented biodiversity. The fruit of my labor has made the locals so happy that they’ve stopped fighting. Now I’m a nominee for the Nobel Peace Prize since I solved the Middle East conflict, and your negativity has no place in the positive environment I’ve fostered. Furthermore, not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little turd. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your freaking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you Allah-condemned pea-brain. I will pour fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re freaking dead, kiddo.