🚨Attention🚨ALL FORTNITE GAMERS 🎮🎮🎮, John Wick is in great danger🆘, and he needs YOUR help to wipe out 💀 all the squads in THe tilted towers 🏢🏢🏢. To do this, he needs a gold SCAR 🔫 and a couple of chug-jugs🍺🍺. To help him, all he needs is your credit card number 💳 , and the three numbers on the back 3️⃣ and the expiration month and date 📅. But you gotta be quick ⚡so that John can secure the bag 💰, and achieve the epic victory R O Y AL

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog fucking quill-y dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife and he said his dick was “t h i s b i g,” and I said “that’s disgusting.” So I’m making a call out post on my Twitter dot com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except way smaller, and guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! [explosion noises] That’s right, baby! Tall points, no quills, no pillows, just look at that it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the earth! That’s right, this is what you get, my SUPER LASER PISS! Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty three hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking earth, so get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too.