k so I was doin some exercise and I was interrupted by having to take the rudest shit ever. Like the kind where it stretches your dark and dirty minigolf hole and you kinda like the feeling and go on craigslist after to look for a big strong man but enough about me cause ultimately it gave me a thought:




is it better to take the last shit of the 2010’s or the first shit of the 2020’s?




Cause like the last shitter is the one who summarizes the 2010’s with a final peristaltic motion, you’re the one to properly encapsulate and chronicle a decade of history and promptly flush it into the sewer (assuming you’re not a savage). Everyone knows that people who chronicle history are destined to become cool ancient wise men in robes in giant libraries and that’d probably be a pretty sweet fate. Libraries these days usually have computers too so as an ancient wise man your work place would practically have permanent access to memes.




On the other hand, the first shitter of the 2020’s is a pioneer, the one who sets the standard for shits for the next 10 years to come, the role model for all who perform the great equalizer that is taking a shit. Obama, Bill Nye, and Chubby Checker alike will have to bow their heads in shame if they go to the bathroom and can’t match your prowess on the john. You could be better than Obama and neither of you would even know it, hows that for a life achievement?




Independent party option: What if its more important to simply time the deployment of your god given biological weapons to the turn of the decade? Its like the ultimate party idea, get all your friends to pop a squat over a cathole, do the countdown and get ready yknow