I (M24) was beating my meat (9.271 inches) as usual (usual as in 12 times a day) and suddenly my best friend (M22) came into my room and I came (12 km/hour) on him by accident, he ran out of my room (23 km/hour) and took a Handgun (FN M1910) from my drawer (in the living room) and tried to shoot me (two .380 ACF bullets) but shot my gaming PC (i5, GT1030, 16gb RAM, Intel motherboard, 480GB SSD) and now I can’t work! (Draw furry porn) but my friend blames me for starting the chain of events. Am I the asshole?