When I was in undergrad I let a buddy of mine talk me into going bar hopping with him. Wasn’t something I usually did at the time, whatever figured I’d do something different. Didn’t really drink anything except soda the whole night. Pretty soon I’m about to shit and piss my pants in this hole in the wall bar. Ask about the bathroom, tiny room about 5 square foot, with a urinal and a toilet seated about as close together as the shitters in this picture. I go in and start bringing down the brown thunder as my ass blasted myself into orbit. Cool. Dude barges in, weird thought I had the door locked. He apologizes and as I think he’s about to leave he stands at the urinal and begins to relieve himself. Now I’m close enough I could reach out and hold it for him (I didn’t, obviously). So I am unable to hold myself together and continue to shit lightning into this toilet thinking this could not get weirder as this guy starts to engage in small talk. It could not get any weirder. Somebody else barges in, looks in horror, and the dude pissing less than 3 feet (or roughly a meter for those over the pond) from my face throws a hand up and goes “HEY!” and is somewhat pissed that this dude has come into our excretion station. I shit you not, he then looks at me and says, “Some people, right?!” with a dead serious expression on his face. Of course I’m like, “Yeah man” with my farts and shit punctuating the sentence. On his way out he had the courtesy to lock the door.

I cannot make this shit up.