When I was in 6th grade I got my first girlfriend, her name was Katie. It was a happy 2 weeks of avoiding her at school, but immediately texting her as soon as I got near a wifi connection via some ipod touch messaging app. One day, a young boy named Hunter came up to me in the hallway and asked, “Do you like fish dicks?” Being the naive chubby kid and thinking the simple question was referencing fish sticks, of course I replied with an emphatic “yes”. This reply elicited laughter from Hunter and prompted him to question whether I was a gay fish.

I was transformed. I had never discovered a form of comedy so intricate and so sophisticated. I would continue through the rest of the day asking anyone and everyone whether they liked fish dicks.

As the locker break before English class ended, Katie and I sat in Mrs. Grays room avoiding any 1 on 1 conversation. As fellow classmates trickled in, they were greeted with a simple question: “do you like fish dicks?”. Katie didn’t seem to understand the advanced humor behind this joke. She tapped me on the shoulder and told me that if I were to ask the question one more time that it would be over for us. I was dumbfounded. How dare she attempt to control me. I am the man in this relationship. I looked her squarely in the forehead as to avoid eye contact and I said it.

“Katie..”

“Do you like fish dicks?”