My red pill moment came when playing Dr. Mario. There were too many germs on the board, and not enough correctly colored pills to eliminate them. That was when I realized that this hard working, salt of the earth plumber was being dragged down by the gynarchy. Mario is a man’s man, from his embroidered hat to his working class overalls. He sets out every day, doing what needs to be done: protecting the kingdom and protecting the woman he loves from being snatched away by a big, menacing member of another race. Time after time, kingdom after kingdom, Mario tirelessly risks life and limb to rescue Princess Peach. Who, by the way, never learns her lesson and never takes any steps to protect herself. She relies entirely on Mario. And yet she emasculates him at every turn. Mario has never gotten more than a kiss on the cheek from that frigid ice queen. Rather than give him the sex that his sacrifice and sheer virility deserve, she skips away merrily with her retainer, Toad (who looks suspiciously like a large penis of yet another ethnicity). And now Mario has to step up once again and figure out how to treat the host of STDs she has no doubt picked up from her time with Bowser. Mario can no longer devote time to saving her kingdom (again). He must also sacrifice his leisure time, usually spent dominating in soccer, tennis, or various Olympic sports. No, he’s got to clean up her cooties because she’s apparently too good for the man who works so hard to give her a comfortable life. She has crushed his pride and stolen his essence.