`DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS SATIRE, DO NOT FOLLOW THE ADVICE IN IT`

I think everyone can agree FFF is very hard. However, I have one simple trick that can make it so much easier. In fact, it’ll make all the No Fap challenges 1,000,000,000,000 (1 trillion) times easier! You’ll never fail again! And it’s all accomplised with one simple trick.

Now, there are multiple ways to go about this. First, you want to grab something sharp. A steak knife, a cleaver, a handsaw, you get the point. Make sure it’s sharp. The next step is to take off your pants and look up porn. **DO NOT JERK OFF.** Step 3 is to place your hardened cock onto a flat, hard surface. Now it’s time for the 4th and final step. Grab your cleaver or knife or handsaw and remove your penis. Raise the cleaver up and bring it down on the base of your willy. Cut off your trouser snake with the steak knife. Saw off your womb raider.

Now that you have no penis, bandage the wound, discard or eat the weapon of ass destruction, or maybe preserve it and use it as a dildo if you so please. Congratulations! You will never fail a no fap challenge again!