So this happened a couple of days ago..

Had a rash develop over the past few weeks and it was itching like crazy, thought at first it was just some kind of allergy from switching body washes lately. After changing back to my old wash and my rash didn’t showing any indication of subsiding, I went to visit a dermatologist. Anyways, turns out I have a skin condition called Pityriasis rosea, which isn’t actually serious and should go away on its own. So she perscribed me some corticosteroids for the itching and sent me on my way home. Anyone that has ever gotten an itch knows that there are few things more pleasant than scratching it. After showering (and before taking my medication), the rash was itching particularly strongly and I sat down on the toilet to dry my hair. I noticed that when the hot air from the dryer came in contact with my rash ( Rash was spread all over the back) it felt like scartching my back REAALLLYYY good. So naturally I took the hot dryer closer to my skin and voila, that shit felt close to an orgasm. Naturaly I decided to take it to the next logical level: Flopping the bishop while scratching my rash with the hot hair dryer (Yes I know this sounds mildy retarded). What ensued next was the most transending experience in my whole fucking life. I busted a nut so hard I started to see stars, my hole body started to tremble and I fucking fainted. My parents heard the thump of me falling on the floor from downstairs, and appearantly called for me a few times, my mother is a REAAAL worrier, so my dad broke down the bathroom door, where they found me laying like literally covered in a quarter cups worth of semen, my back all red from the hot air, and the hairdryer blowing at max speed all over the place. So yeah, my mother hasn’t looked me in the eye for like 2 days. FML

TL;DR: Found out hot air from hairdryer works 50 times better than scratching with nails, decided I wanted to scratch and masturbate at the same time. Came so hard I went to narnia and back, fainted so hard on the toilet seat my dad had to tear down the bathroom door.

I’m legit thinking of going living in the woods. lol