When he’s not looking, tickle him and unplug his controller. Take the controller outside and start bashing it with your sledgehammer (buy a sledgehammer.) He will hold a grudge against you for a long time but eventually when you’re older you two will make up and actually become best friends. You’ll become so close that you ask him to be the best man at your wedding. But he has actually been faking his friendship this whole time, and still holds the grudge against you for smashing his dear controller on that very day. For years he plots how he will get his revenge, and ultimately will try to woo your fiance and have sex with her behind your back. Due to this comment, you plan for this and had hired a ladyboy to pretend to be your girlfriend for years. He has a long night of dirty drunken sex with ‘her’. He wakes up concerned with his bumhole sore, and goes to break the news to you to fulfill his lifelong plan for revenge, but there and then you pull down Georgina’s pants, revealing her secret weapon, and it all connects in his head. You win.