Oh? What’s that? You think you’re good at POPGOES? Mate, don’t even fucking try me. The day Dawko got the demo of POPGOES I broke into his house and played it. The day the game went public I used Texmod to make all the animatronics invisible, and that’s how I’ve played it ever since. My sheer skill and love for the game caused me to spontaneously unlock all of its content within mere seconds. I posted a screenshot of Simon to Freddit and they banned me because even Kane Carter himself didn’t think it was possible to beat the game so fast. I routinely let my panic meter go up to the last bar and use frame-perfect tricks to make it go back down again. I suffer panic attacks in real life, but it’s worth it, for it makes POPGOES so much more immersive. I’ve played Endless Impossible mode for over 48 hours in a row and only stopped because I sensed that Kane was in grave danger. I immediately teleported to his house and beat the absolute shit out of a spider that would have otherwise killed him. I found a way to play with all challenges active. I won said mode while jacking myself off to the fullest extent, and I have two dicks. That’s right, two giant, monstrous cocks. I’ve sent a drone strike to the envoirmental modeller who fucked up P2’s development, and plan to do the same to LSF for focusing his time on SFNaF2 instead of POPGOES Finale. Every night I worship Simon, and one day plan to build him in real life. I’ve forced doctors to perform operations on me to turn my piss, blood, and cum green in honor of Popgoes the Weasel’s beautiful eyes. I can recite the entire POPGOES Developer Commentary at the drop of a hat, and have done so in less than five minutes. One time Emil Macko had the nerve to show up at my house. I surgically turned that poor little shit into an exact clone of Kane Carter. If you even think about mentioning FNaF4 in my presence I will fucking nuke your entire goddamn continent into space.