My five year old son was interested in getting the new Mario game on Switch; however, I declined his request. I told him, fairly, that I want him to begin playing games from the same era I did. I believe this will lead him to a more organic appreciation for video games by allowing him to master more rudimentary control schemes. He will also be able to expand upon his imagination since older games required players to put effort into immersing themselves in less than photorealistic landscapes. So today we went to a garage sale to pick up his first video game console: an Atari 2600. It came with a number of games, including Frogger and Qbert. He asked if he could get the NES instead because he recognized Mario on one of the cartridge boxes, but I scolded him by making a big scene in front of everyone. I projected my parenting like that so everyone could appreciate what I am doing as a father. My son was crying, but I didn’t relent. Besides, when SJWs ruin our society he’ll have to be tough for the upcoming race wars (we’re a proud white family). I have also told my son he is not allowed to go to his friends’ houses because they have more advanced consoles and I don’t want them to ruin this experience for my son.

Anyway, as soon as we got home I called my friends to tell them what I had done as a parent. I even made several posts to online forums.

I called his mother to tell her I don’t want my son playing Mario yet and laid out my 10 year video game plan for my son moving forward. She said I was being ridiculous, so I yelled at her and called her a stupid whore. This was in front of my son, but I wanted him to know, from a man, how you should handle women who don’t agree with your vision.