>>383723087
>Couple 20 year olds decide to drink
>Little shindig turns into a party as friends invite friends invite friends
>Pretty good party, to be honest
>One guy gets belligerent. Let’s call him John.
>Tells the host he’s going to fall asleep in his bed. Let’s call the host Joe.
>Joe says “The fuck you are.”
>John shoves Joe
>Joe kicks him out
>Everyone loves Joe, so they all band together to escort John out
>I’m sitting on the couch. Hear the commotion coming down the stairs and head outside.
>Go outside to smoke a cigarette and see what’s up.
>Someone tells me what’s going on.
>Oh, okay.
>Continue smoking.
>Joe comes out to make sure John is leaving
>Put my hand on Joe, tell him to go back in because he’s going.
>Joe says he wants to talk to John’s friend
>Make Joe promise to say put and I’ll go get him.
>Wander to car
>Ask for said friend
>John looks up and sees Joe standing on the porch
>Gets out of the car
>I’m standing right there
>Just put my hands on his shoulders and tell him to go home and get some sleep
>He shoves me against the car holding my throat
>”Dude, come on. Just get some sleep, it’ll be cool in the morning”
>He lets me go
>Feels like he just scratched me letting me go
>Turn around to go inside all pissed
>”Anon, you’re bleeding. He had a knife.”
>Ugh. Someone call an ambulance. I’m going to go check it out in a mirror.
>”No, dude, you need to go to the hospital NOW.”
>Fine
>Shirt around throat
>Rushed to hospital
>Never knew how serious it was until I told the doctor to take the camera out of my pocket and take the picture shown
>36 stitches

Tah-dah.