How to humiliate yourself 101:

Heres a super good story I made a few years back that i just revamped, i dont know its name but ill just call it “The Clean Chronicles” for now.

### Chapter 1

It was a sunny morning, Mr clean got off his bed, and like any of his regular morning’s first thing he did was go to the bathroom and brush his teeth, Mr clean got his toothbrush, soaked it in water, and that’s when something horrible happened… There was no toothpaste, Mr clean panicked and searched all over his home to see if there were any leftover gallons of toothpaste and the realization kicked in; he needed to buy more. He reached for his wallet but it was empty, then smashed his piggy bank but not a single emerald, he was broke. Mr clean said ‘i gonna need some emeralds’ but he has no job nor hobby to cover him.

So Mr clean went to the villager’s house then Mr clean said to the villager that he needed emeralds because he has none and needed to buy more toothpaste, the villager understood and said that he needed a Mr clean action figure and would reward him with 9999 emeralds if he gave him one then Mr clean walked out of the village and got ready for the new quest he just got, he drove into town and started searching for any shop that sells action figures, but then Mr clean saw a large sign that said “free Mr clean action figures” Mr clean went up to the sign, then looked closely at the sign, and at the bottom of the sign there were a few words that said only 50 miles away then Mr clean walked back to his car then Mr clean drove for 50 miles straight, at the near-end of the road he couldn’t see any action figure store, he said ‘where the free Mr clean action figure’.

He reached the end of the road and the only shop was a mattress store, he entered the store then Mr clean asked the mattress guy where are the free Mr clean action figures then the mattress guy said if you want a Mr clean action figure you need to go to Toysrus then Mr clean said to the guy where is the nearest Toysrus then the mattress guy said only 50 miles back then Mr clean got angry and punched a mattress and the guy said you don’t have to be rude sir. Then Mr clean went to his car then drove 50 miles back, he searched for the city and found the Toysrus that the mattress guy mentioned, so Mr clean entered that Toysrus and started searching for it inside the store, after 15 minutes he found nothing and went up to a worker there, Mr clean said to the guy “wheres the Mr clean action figure” then the worker said “go to the police then ask the exact same question there, and the police will give you exactly what you need” then Mr clean listened and drove to the police station and then told the receptionist guy that someone told him they have Mr clean action figures and asked where the Mr clean action figure is at.

Then the receptionist said ndjshrkwfheyfnfjwkdjfjfjeidjfjriwkekenfnfmk then Mr clean said what then the police said uekdfgjefheiejekwkskdjfn, Mr clean understood nothing so he decided to speak to wiser people, he drove to the coast and entered the fisherman town where fishermen speak in riddles and asked one of the fishermen on how he can obtain a Mr clean action figure, the fisherman responded with ‘If you want to obtain the action figure then you must meet up with someone who is a vigor and is not too different from people who you find familiar’ Mr clean understood nothing so he decided to talk with even wiser people, which were the stone age people.

Mr clean went to their town and at the entrance, Mr clean hid his car as cars and toilets are banned there, he then entered ‘The Town of the Stone Age people’ then Mr clean walked up to a Stone Age man who’s made out of stone he said where’s the Mr clean action figure and the stone age man said nothing, and Mr clean waited… Mr clean got tired then he brought his car into the Stone Age Town, and started driving at full speed and crashed into the Stone Age man and he still said nothing so Mr clean went to another place similar he went to the Stone Age village which the villagers back then were made out of stone, Mr clean entered the village with his half-destroyed car and Mr clean said “Wow villagers used to have such big noses back then” but realized that none of the villagers can speak so then he went somewhere else

And he drove for hours and when he arrived there, it was very cold, as he was at the Ice age village, and upon entering he went to the Ice Age Library and searched through books about the Mr. Clean Action Figure, but none said anything about how to obtain it. An Ice Age Villager in the same row as him looked at him and asked him if he was interested in action figures, Mr. Clean said yes, I’m trying to learn about Mr clean action figures, and the Ice Villager responded with “Yes, the holy Mr clean action figure, there aren’t that many” And Mr clean told him “Do you know about them?”, Ice Age Villager said “I know all about them, and each of the remaining ones” Mr. Clean asked the Ice Age Villager there to tell him how to get a Mr clean action figure, The Ice Age villager responded that the Mr clean action figure was a mythical item and it can only be obtained by saving the Oxi-Clean king that was kidnapped a hundred years ago and was kept hostage by the Ice chicken in the mythical soap mountains.

So Mr clean went there and after going through a series of basic traps he entered Ice Chicken’s cave and ready to fight the chicken, but the ice chicken was asleep so he rescued the Oxi Clean guy and told him to give him the Mr. Clean Action figure but The Oxi Clean King said he gave it to Bob Gallo before he was kidnapped so he asked the king to tell him where Bob Gallo is located and the king said he lived in The Magical Volcano of Galgaroth and Diamonds. Mr. Clean said and where is that at and the King responded that it is in the North Pole. So Mr clean went all the way to the North Pole and after searching for hours there he saw nothing so he came back to the mountains and found the Oxi Clean King in a cafe and he went in there and told he found nothing. The king said that it is in the city called “North pole” and Mr clean got angry and put the king back hostage.

Mr. Clean then went to the city North Pole and he saw the mythical volcano and managed to enter as he saw a large sign saying “Bob Gallos secret lair” and so he came in and he saw a giant chicken and asked it where Bob Gallo is at and the chicken said, “that’s me”. Mr clean told him about the Mr. Clean Action figure and Bob Gallo said he had it on his shelf for a century but ate it earlier this morning since he was hungry, so Mr. Clean said spit it out and so after a minute he did, but when Mr. Clean grabbed the action figure, it looked brown and brown but he didn’t care. So he went back to the villager and told him he finally got it and handed the Mr clean action figure to the villager, but when the villager looked at it he thought it was a chocolate bar and said: “I accept chocolate bars too”. The villager gave Mr. Clean emeralds and ate the chocolate bar and the villager said it feels like he’s chewing on broken glass, and Mr clean said its 100 years old and he had to get it from a chicken, the villager stopped chewing and vomited in Mr. Clean’s North Pole gift shop bag and stole Mr. Clean’s new fresh emeralds back.

The villager said that he wanted the action figure to be a none-pooped one and Mr. Clean said that he is tired of going to places. The villager said “I will tell you something” and looked around to make sure nobody was listening, and then whispered to Mr Clean that near the villages, resides a secret mr cleansmith that has been making Mr Clean Action Figures for years now, and Mr Clean gasped, so he asked where is the smith, and the villager said right over village D so Mr Clean started sprinting and went to village B and broke through some random house’s wall and told the villager inside, Villager Number #18382819288 where village D is and the Villager said right over Village C. Mr clean then broke through the other wall of the house and so he ran to Village D and saw the smith, and came up to the counter and asked the Mr Cleans Smith for a new mr clean action figure, and said that it’s going to cost 78 emeralds and Mr Clean said how can I get that many emeralds, then the Mr Cleansmith said ‘let’s can make a deal”, and said he is looking for a special bathroom soap that he needs and told Mr Clean to get one at the Soap Mall, bring it back and to trade it for the action figure.

Mr. Clean followed his instructions, he went to the fancy bathroom soap mall and asked the first guy he saw, soap guy to tell him where are the soaps at, even though he was standing right next to someone who sells soaps, the soap guy responded saying to walk two yards straight and turn left and walk 10 yards so he did that and entered a soap shop and asked the cashier, soap guy 2 for a soap, Soap Guy 2 said it’s going to cost you 10 emeralds and Mr. Clean got angry and yelled so loud that even the soap from the other side of the fancy bathroom soap mall fell down. Then soap guy 2 said “Now it costs you 756 emeralds for knocking down so many soaps and breaking half of them”, Mr. Clean asked Soap Guy 2 about how can you get that many emeralds, and Soap Guy 2 said to work at an emerald-producing factory, so Mr. Clean left the Soap Mall even though he needs to pay them 756 emeralds. Mr. Clean went there and applied for a job at the Emerald Factory, and the H.R asked him to enter his room for an interview, and then the Emerald Man asked him the first question “How old are you” and Mr. Clean said 0 and the Emerald Man said, “you’re hired”. So Mr. Clean got the job at the emerald factory and was assigned an easy job, all he has to do was move emeralds from one conveyor to another and he said this is easy even though he was being paid at a rate of two emeralds per hour even when he was filling in for someone else.

There was a lot of smoke and dust coming from the machines which made Mr. Clean sneeze and he started dropping boogers by accident and after a while, he realized what was happening, so he started panicking and tried to stop the boogers but it was too late as the machine was already converting and duplicating the boogers into emeralds and the boogers looked identical to all the other emeralds, and out of panic Mr. Clean jumped on the conveyors knocking off a bunch OF emeralds to the floor and he started touching as many emeralds as he could trying to see which were the fake ones and he had to hurry because about 700 booger-emeralds were about to be loaded into the emerald truck and be delivered to the villagers, so he tried to scream to the emerald boxers to stop but they were wearing emerald headphones and couldn’t hear anything. And that’s when Mr. Clean saw a button on a machine next to him that said “do not touch” but he didn’t care and then he touched it and all of a sudden it started raining emeralds, when he looked back he saw the dispenser malfunctioning and shooting emeralds to the roof causing the rain, and the conveyors were on fire and then the factory exploded.. A

And fortunately the emeralds were still alive and intact and he grabbed as many emeralds as he could and went straight to the Fancy Soap Mall to buy the fancy bathroom soap and paid the fines too, and once he exited the store he had thought the quest is finally done for, Mr. Clean ran straight to Village D towards the Mr. Cleansmith and told him he got the Bathroom soap and wants to trade it for the Mr clean action figure… But the Mrcleansmith said “you were too late, already sold it” and Mr. Clean said “To who”, and the smith said he sold it to a Mattress Worker Guy and in his head, Mr. Clean said “I know that guy” and asked the smith where did he went and The Mr. Cleansmith said he is going to his house in village Z and Mr. Clean started running. After 12 hours of running, he reached village Z, and he saw a car pull up to a driveway and saw the mattress worker getting out, he waited until he entered his house, and then Mr. Clean busted through the front door and yelled at him where the Mr clean action figure was, and the mattress guy said “uhhhh… hey you’re the mean guy from earlier” and Mr. Clean said, “No I’m not, I’m his uhh, aunt” and the mattress guy said ok. Mr clean asked again “Where is the Mr. Clean action figure” and the mattress guy responded saying he gave it to his manager as a gift, And Mr. Clean told the Mattress guy where is his boss currently, and the mattress guy said he just went to the airport since he is moving out of the country and he went with the Mr. Clean action figure.

Mr clean screamed when he heard that but he told himself he can buy another, The Mattress Guy said “I bought the last one… in forever” and Mr. Clean screamed so loud that it blasted all of the house’s windows and Mr. Clean ran outside and so he stole the guy’s car and then the mattress guy came out of his house and said, “you can’t have my car”. And Mr. Clean yelled “BUT I CAN RENT IT” and threw 78 Emeralds at the mattress guy and Mr. Clean smashed the pedal and went 900 miles per hour and crashed right into the airport and then the guards who were near the crash site took out their walkie talkies and screamed “WE HAVE A RECKLESS DRIVER” and then 3,854 guards came in their cars and started driving to where Mr. Clean crashed, but Mr. Clean escaped and no guards saw where he went. Then Mr. Clean went to the other side of the Airport to go to the check-in and the check-in thing said “Where are you going” and Mr. Clean put nowhere and it said what’s your number and Mr clean put rujedmmf and it said check-in complete then he went to tell the person and the air guy said you have no bags and Mr clean said oh it’s in the plane already then the air guy said ok and then he rushed so fast he pushed 17 people down to the floor then randomly 2 people were carrying a massive piece of glass and Mr. Clean ran into it, shattering it, Mr. Clean got hurt and still didn’t give up, but the broken glass made a massive mess of broken glass and people were yelling to remove it, but that didn’t matter as Mr. Clean got over the course.

So yeah then Mr. Clean had to go to floor 4 but the elevator broke down and unfortunately the escalator-thing was shut down so Mr. Clean needed to find a way to go to floor 4, he had the idea of jumping through the ceilings but that would cause a massive hole and he didn’t want more guards to come, so he had to take the old way, which was the stairs. So he went to the stairway and climbed the stairs so fast that it caused floor 9 to collapse and 18 villagers ended up in the hospital resting painfully and then Mr. Clean managed to get to floor 4, but Mr. Clean had to be careful as he had to go through the place where guards check inside of you, so he went there and saw a massive line, and decided to go to the bathroom before waiting, and when he came back the line was 3 hours long and Mr. Clean got so mad he screamed and blasted those 3 hours away and luckily he didn’t end up dealing with the guards as they were sleeping, then it was Mr. Cleans turn so the guards checked him and then the guards discovered that he had something terrible… A water 💦 sprayer and the guards were going to call the Sweat Team, and Mr Clean quickly used his Water Sprayer and sprayed the guard’s eyes, blinding him temporarily and Mr Clean got away again… And then he had to deal with another thing, the airport sections, he didn’t know which section the boss guy went to so he asked the airplane guide guy that he had to tell him if he saw a man in a suit with a Mr Clean action figure and the guy said yes and said he went to Section B.

And mr clean said “phew that’s pretty close” but the guide guy said it starts with section Z so Mr Clean got angry and he was tired after everything he’s done, so after that he spent 1 hour walking and he made it to section B then he realized that he was too late, the plane had already left, and Mr Clean thought there was no hope left then he realized that it’s only 9:14 pm, meaning they left 4 minutes ago so he had to make a plan quickly and went to ask a pilot to give him airplane permission, the pilot recognized him and the pilot said said ‘wait’ and Mr Clean waited, then the pilot yelled “GUARDS” then a ton of guards came out of nowhere, from every direction to battle Mr Clean. Mr clean got surrounded.. then he had a flashback, and remembered a villager saying “If you are surrounded, remember to use the fork” And then Mr. Clean got a fork out of his pocket and threw the fork to a guard, but he missed then the guard laughed, but the fork landed on a random button and pressed it, and then it caused a plane to activate and turned itself to automatic pilot mode and it crashed through the airport and it started spinning hitting all the guards and Mr. Clean luckily survived.

Then he went to talk to the pilot guy, and asked him again for airplane permission and the pilot guy said “oooook” and walked with Mr Clean to his plane, and when they entered it was fancy inside and the pilot said “Here it is” and Mr Clean stared at the controls and he realized that he didn’t know how to fly the plane so he asked the pilot to control the plane but the pilot escaped and went home 🏡 and Mr Clean told himself that he had to do something and time was running out, so he touched every button then he realized that there was an automatic button in it and he touched it and the plane speakers said “Pilot Mode: Enabled” and Mr Clean said “Lead me to the plane with a guy with a Mr Clean action figure” Then the plane said “Which one, everyone has a mr clean action fig-” Mr Clean touched the mute button and he controlled the plane by himself even though he didn’t know what to do, so he started pressing random buttons and the plane was crashing everywhere and after a while he figured it out and started flying for real, and then he finally reached the plane he was looking for, and started flying extremely close to it.

Then in the other plane, when the pilot looked over he screamed when he saw Mr. Clean driving a plane near his, and he fainted then the co-pilot came in the control room and said “WHAT HAPPENED” and he looked over and he fainted, then some person who worked there came into the room and made an announcement and said “PANIC” and everyone including the boss panicked. And Mr Clean had to act quick, Mr clean was going to do the most dangerous stunt ever, he flew the plane to make the wings reach the door of the other plane, then he opened the doors of his plane and grabbed a rocket launcher and blew up the other door of the plane and started walking on the wing then turbulence started happening and he jumped and barely made it, immediately the other plane he was flying started falling down and hit a national plane ceremony and then mr clean was clinging onto the plane door, and barely could climb but he wasn’t gonna fall and then he climbed over and had entered the day

Then he went into the passenger room and found a man in a suit and asked him if he was a mattress store manager and he said “uh yes” and then asked the boss guy to give the Mr Clean action figure and he will save everyone and the boss guy said “No” and then everyone screamed “GIVE IT NOW” and the boss guy quickly gave it and mr clean went to the pilot seat and hit the Auto-Button and he directed the plane to go back to the other airport but since it got destroyed the machine broke and the airplane broke down and was gonna land in the village and then the airplane landed in the middle of village and destroyed half of the houses and 87 villagers got injured so then Mr Clean got out of the plane unscathed and the villager was saying “WHAT IS GOING ON” and then Mr Clean came to the Villager with the action figure, the villagers head fell off and gave Mr Clean 222,222 emeralds and Mr Clean got rich, entered the toothpaste store and bought the entire store, and finally the quest was done. Mr. Clean entered his house, poured the toothpaste on his toothbrush, and then brushed his teeth, concluding a long night and journey… But Mr. Clean felt bad for the 2,789,216 people he hammered and got injured throughout the quest but he didn’t have enough emeralds so he donated 0 emeralds to each person. The End.