What I mean by that is I farted and followed through, which made my cat shit himself. My father heard the commotion, came in and shat at the amount of faeces. He screamed while doing this, causing the neighbour to come and check, for whom it had a similar effect. After a few minutes when the neighbour didn’t get home, his family came to check on him and only added to the pile. Other neighbours quickly called the police. A squad car with six armed officers, for a potentially high risk situation arrived, but all their years of training couldn’t stop them from joining in. They called support, but this only made things worse. The house is now surrounded by swat vans and army aircraft. Scientists were sent in in hazmats. But the only purpose the suits served were to keep the shit awkwardly hanging from their anus. Days have passed since I first followed through. We are all running out of energy, as each time we eat, it literally goes straight through us. We are now up to our belly buttons in faeces. We can only sit and pray