That’s one sexy waterslide! It’s getting me thinkin’…

It’s 10 PM, at my local bar, and I’m chilling in my own lonely space in the far corner, away from the others. Well… not really “chilling”; you see, I’m a very shy, anti-social person, and I don’t like that. It’s depressing, but I’m too afraid to just go on with it and go out of my comfort zone, so alone it is… for now, at least.

I gaze out into the distance, and see a bunch of guys just chattering; it may not seem special in anyway, but… damn, one of those guys is just… hot, and I mean really fucking hot. He’s a human-like waterslide. Imagine a furry: human-like dogs and whatever. I’m not into furrys, but this… waterslide man? He’s turning me on… He’s wearing a t-shirt, and I see his biceps and… his eyes… my God are his eyes beautiful; they’re a piercing, sharp magma red, and he looks so… kind. He looks friendly…more than friendly. Could he be… into ME? Is he gay? I pray to the gods that he’s gay, but… oh, that’s right: I’m just so… shy, and there’s no way he’s gonna like-

“Hey…” a booming yet cute voice comes right of the blue and startles me.

“Hmm?” I reply shyly. And I don’t even know who I’m talking to, until… I do. It’s him. He… looks so friendly. I take a look at his shirt. He’s from Slovenia, and I get so see through his shirt…he’s packed. I doze off from is hotness and-

“Mind if I sit here?” he asks kindly.

“Um… sure, ih I-I guess…” I’m so shy…

He pulls the chair out and takes a seat. He looks so…kind, yet I still cannot help but feel uncomfortable, but that’s on me, and I feel… sad.

“You seem so lonely… thought I’d give you some company, buddy. All the three days I’ve seen you here… you seem like you need a friend…”

Guh! He… he noticed me? He really is so sweet… is he the kindest man I know? He is…

“Oh um… t t-thank you um, I guess…” I blush.

“…you okay”? He implied kindly.

Oh, that’s right… I was staring at his hot body a bit too much. I’m being pretty awkward…

“Oh, I’m fine I’m just… shy…”

“No problem” he replies. “My names Slovenia. Nice to meetcha!”

His name is Slovenia? Lovely. I give my name.

And then there’s a pause… a long, awkward pause, but not too unbearable. Then he says something that hit me like a cement truck…

“I see you’re blushing…”

I froze. Oh… oh no… this is getting so out of hand. I’m so embarrassed. How am I going to tell him the truth? will he reject me? Think I’m weird? What do I do?

“Oh… I have… a, fever.”

And then he gives me the most sweetest, affectionate look. He looks at me… right into my eyes, his beaming, fierce red eyes stare right into my heart… he puts his hand gently on my lap.

“It’s ok.” He whispered affectionately.

I like you too

I, stunned, just sit there in silence. My heart is pounding, but yet… I choose to lean in, and he leans in too.

He kisses me gently, and I kiss back. It feels like an eternity, and he draws out slowly.

“Want to come to my place?” he says so invitingly sweetly.

He holds my wrist, and gives my knuckles a kiss.

And we go for a walk. He only lives a couple blocks away, and we eventually arrive.

“Are you sure you want to do this”? he kindly asks, free of judgement. I love that he wants to make sure I will like getting railed hard.

“Oh… um… I’m nervous but, y… yes! Yeah,let’s do-“

He pushes his face into my face as he strongly kisses me with fierce passion, pinning me against the wall, his juice exchanging inside me and him swallowing mine. He cradles and pets my head as he writes a love letter into my soul, and he pull my pants down, and I pull him down as well. Oh… oh my, he is huge, he packs a monster, and I wrap my lower body around him as he picks me up and enters me. Oh… oh my God, I say. It feels so good, I say. It feels so fucking good and I’m in heaven, I say. YES! DON’T STOP!

I… I never felt anything like this. It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt. This is when I begin to weep tears of joy. I’m weeping so hard and I know he loves it since he is eating my tears and gulping them.

Is… is this the meaning of life? I think to myself. Obviously I had to say yes at first, but I changed my mind when I reached the better part…

“Oh… I think… I THINK I’M GONNA…”

and then, for 45 seconds, I and Slovenia, come. I faint, eyes rolled back. Now this is just… it’s perfect. I feel like I’m in the seventh layer of heaven. His love milk enters me as I pretend that there are innocent suffering people in his body going down a scary slide into my rear, trapped in a hell of shit and gay fluid where they die.

…

“Hey…” I hear.

I’m startled. “Where… huh?”

He cutely replies, “you were unconscious, we’re in my bed now, my love.”

I see him… his shirt is OFF. In love, I lick his torso. He gently holds and adjusts my head and kisses me.

“How did that feel sweetie?” He says in a voice like he is Jesus Christ himself. His red eyes… they’re so tender and affectionate, he… he loves me so much… I…

I cuddle against his torso as he embraces me. I feel like I’m melting into him. I feel all warm and fuzzy. I speak.

“Slovy, you’re the hottest and nicest person I’ve met. I… I love you…” I get emotional.

“He pets me and holds me like a big dumb baby, …

I love you too

He kisses me once more, and we both fall into rest. I’m so happy, so is he, and now for the rest of my life, I have a purpose and I die with happiness.