The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-pleasuring. Yesterday I was shopping inside of a parking lot where they had pieces of cake on the ground and people would point at the cake when you went by saying things like “this one’s really healthy for you”, and “a lot of calories in this one”. I put someone in my shopping cart. I put someone and a watermelon in my shopping cart.

Over on the side of the parking lot someone was giving a demo of a new machine with a foot pedal that could make the dollar value of corn move back and forth.