I’m an ugly 3/10 beta male with no real discernable positive traits, I’m scared of anything and everything. I’m too timid and anxious to live life like a normal person. I haven’t had a friend since was a child and I don’t really understand how to even make friends as an adult. My massive inferiority complex has convinced me that everyone else is too good for me. I have nothing that makes me stand out as a desirable partner or friend, so I don’t even bother out of fear of hurting myself or wasting somebody else’s time. I have no hobbies, no passion, no motivation, no real reason for living, but I’m too cowardly to die, so I crawl lazily from day to day, living in the same rut, doing the same things, hoping something will change and someone will come to save me. Deep down I know the truth, no one can fix me but me, and I’m not capable of doing the job. I can’t even perform basic tasks. I want to believe that I’m a good person who is just held back by shyness and anxiety but I know the truth, and the truth is I’m just as ugly on the inside as on the outside. If someone took the time to be my friend or my romantic partner, their life would be tangibly worse by association. All I do is spend my days on the internet, which has long since lost its luster, hoping and praying for someone to take pity on me and see a beauty in me that no one else has ever seen, but I know it isn’t going to happen. There is no hidden beauty, no special aspect of me that makes me a worthwhile friend, I’m a mediocre lazy piece of human garbage who is living the unhappy life he deserves. The most realistic option I see for my future is finally working up the guts to pull the trigger and end my life, but I doubt I ever will. I’ll be an old man, laying on his deathbed, filled with regret and remorse from a wasted life.