I am not sure about what you’re going through, but I will tell you this however that there is a zen parable about a monk who, while visiting a marketplace, overheard a butcher being asked by a customer ‘which of your meats is the best?’ to which the butcher replied ‘all my meats are the best’. And after hearing this the monk was instantly enlightened. And when I first heard this, I thought it was an interesting story but did not think much of it as anything other than an interesting story since I did not understand it.

A few years ago, when I finally became an adult I began to feel bad about myself. I had graduated university, but felt like I had done nothing the entire time I was there. I thought ‘what if I’ve wasted away the best years of my life’. Then I remembered the story and thought ‘no, all my years are the best years of my life’. I am still not sure about what you’re going through, but I hope you make it.