My wife (45MF) had been watching conspiracy theory videos on youtube.com. She came across a video warning about WWIIIIIIIII.

I knew I had to do something, other than your mom. So, I made a facebook event to raid the CIA secret base in Sydney, Austria. Four people agreed. We became a five man team and naruto ran straight into the base (it was disguised as an orphanage, but we couldn’t be fooled). We looted the entire place, looking for evidence of WWIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. We found nothing, except evidence I had done your mom.

Going home, feeling defeated, I came home to myself doing your mom (my wife). I was confused, how could this possibly have happened? I was looking at myself. I came to the conclusion that the CIA captured aliens (disguised as children at the orphanage) were playing mind games on me. To neutralize the threat, I took 500 laxatives and took a 300 pound shit, directed at my wife and other version of myself. I then ran out of the house, having a seizure from all of the medication.

At this point, I had come to an epiphany , the US election WAS rigged and they didn’t want trump to win due to him being a lizard human!

I ran for 3 straight years to the whitehouse (only stopping to take care of bodily desires). Once I arrived, it hit me, the WWIIIIII weaponry was being stored under the whitehouse. I tried to get into the whitehouse, but failed. I kept trying, though. This continued until I turned 10. As a last attempt, I tried to dig to the weaponry storage facility, but was shot dead. I reached my final epiphany as I layed there half-dead. I had been by the whitehouse for so long that it became my home and that if you tilted the world horizontally then the weaponry storage facility would become the whitehouse’s backyard. Therefore, I had a nuke in my backyard.

I’m now writing this from heaven, doing your mom.