I will never allow my children to watch Shrek. Lord Farquaad accelerated my sexual awakening to such an extent that it has done permanent damage to my hormonal growth. I was a young clueless 7 year old when they took me to the movies. The movie started innoculous enough, but then at 18:41, he appeared. The dashing handsome idol of pure Giant Cock Energy, Lord Farquaad. At that moment, two things became chrystal clear to me: One, what I was gay as fuck. Two, that I wanted to splort all my not-yet developed Man-Milk into his animated rectum constantly, until I was all spent, and had to lay in a bed for days eating raw eggs and drinking Gatorade, until I can once again muster up enough cum to ravage him again.

The movie was cool tho, solid 5/7, almost 4/7 because that jizzable fuck-puppet got eaten by a cunt dragon in the end.