so it’s Friday afternoon and getting off work i feel like somethin’ is completely MISSING here?? after looking at a couple of dude’s statuses and after much consideration, i ended up blocking 3 dudes simply cuz 1 is involved with drugs which i have ZERO TOLERANCE for, 1 i blocked cuz he was a HUGE Cheeto Hitler lover and the other i blocked cuz he was bragging bout his home workout experience and rubbing it in my face. let me make somethin’ EXTREMELY CLEAR here and i’m sure more of y’all are gonna get rid of me but that’s great with me cuz that just shows me that y’all didn’t care bout me to begin with so doing me a favor will help out alot

for anyone who has ever talked to me in person or has watched all my postings over the past 10+ years whether it was on my former account or this account, i have a very SEVERE case of bi-polar depression and whenever i see shit that strikes a nerve inside my inner soul or heart, it don’t take long before i simply EXPLODE and take shit out on everyone. over the past few years after all the shit i had to deal with among haters, it’s taken such a severe negative toll on me mentally, emotionally and physically. there’s reasons why i make posts and ask for suggestions or help such as workout tips or tricks cuz certain topics or things that YOU guys have more knowledge bout than me which is why i ASK QUESTIONS to learn more bout whatever it is i want to learn. BUT when people attack me for simply asking questions or y’all make SUPER BAD ASSUMPTIONS as if i am the most perfect person in the world and can do everything you can WITHOUT asking questions will almost guarantee cause my bi-polar depression escolate to extremely BAD levels to the point where i want to cause harm to myself.

after mentioning all of this to y’all, even today in 2020 we still live in such a HATEFUL world where NOBODY gives a flying fuck bout people except for themselves. to this day i even question whether you people are really truly my friends or just someone that can use me as a target of attack simply cuz i am a gay Mexican American with very little to NO knowledge of anything other than trains, photography and meteorology. there’s so many times i question myself as to why i am such a huge FAILURE, why i am the most UGLY and disgustingly FAT dude in Pratt County and whatever i do to make myself better or improve my relationship is NEVER good enough yet everyone else is much more successful and better looking than me which deep down inside is such a very disheartening feeling you can’t even explain or imagine cuz the depression is so deep and trapped inside it’s almost a hopeless feeling to even see the good and only see the bad and the hateful. this is why i have stressed so many a time that i HATE gym rats and junkies with such a passion simply cuz they are the best looking assholes and the most ignorant yet they have ZERO respect for those of us who are NOT up to their level or show NO heart or soul to help others. this is why a time or two i had given up on trying to fix myself simply cuz i just don’t feel like change will ever come.

long story short it looks like my severe bi-polar depression has once again FLARED up and i can almost guarantee that NOT ONE PERSON out of 4,997 people including the gay community will look at this and bother to talk to me or even bother to listen to my feelings inside which is koo cuz i have already accepted the fact that everyone here is not all who i feel they are. so IF AND ONLY IF someone takes the time to even look at all this and decides to message me in private, that’s your choice but just remember y’all if for those of you who preach that we need to stick by each other and help each other during the Coronavirus outbreak, you are SO FULL OF SHIT because at the end of the day you DO NOT CARE bout the people round you ONLY YOURSELF and you have NO RIGHT to say that we need to help each other if you aren’t gonna participate in helping!!!!!

enjoy the rest of your day