This literally just happened a couple hours ago.
So this morning I wake up at the crack of dawn to begin driving my one hour commute to work my 18 hour shift on New Years Eve. About halfway into my drive, I am on a busy highway and my car starts doing some weird stuff. The front tires start to skid and before I know it I hear a loud BANG followed by a popping sound.
Well let me tell you, this noise flustered me so much that I begin to squeal like a little piggy being sent to slaughter. As I am squealing in fear, I proceed to drop my entire large, hot, coffee all over my crotch. The next noise that comes out of my mouth was something I didn’t even know my vocal chords could produce! The noise was something that I can only describe as what I would believe to be PSY (the Gangnam Style singer) having a raging, convulsing orgasm but not in a good way. As my dick and balls are writhing in pain, I somehow manage to collect myself and get to the breakdown lane.
As I am tending to my second degree burns, I call a road side service to have a tow truck come and tow my car away. When he arrives he notices my hands fidgeting inside my pants. As I step out of the car he sees the large puddle on my crotch. Before I can even say hello, the first words he says are “You were either playing with yourself or you pissed yourself”. Extremely embarrassed and blushing redder than my scorched dick, I tell him I spilled coffee all over my crotch. In the most serious voice, his exact response was “Right, that’s what they all say…” He then latched my car onto the tow truck and began to drive me 35 miles to the mechanic shop near my house. To say this was the most awkward car ride of my life would be an understatement. Not one word was spoken the entire time as I sat there and sulked in shame.
Once we FINALLY got to the mechanics shop, I had my friend who is also my co-worker come and pick me up as he was leaving to go to work as well. He takes one look at me and bursts out laughing. After I told him what had happened, he didn’t stop laughing the entire hour car ride to work. Great, just add to my already state of humiliation and self loathing.
I am now sitting here at work 2 1/2 hours late with no car, soggy pants, a scorched (and now blistering) dick and balls, no change of clothes, and a massive hit to my pride, with 16 hours left of my shift on New Years Eve.
Happy Fucking New Year’s Everyone
TL;DR Spilled coffee all over my dick and balls as my car was breaking down on the highway. Tow truck guy caught me with hands in pants. Had awkward ride back with him thinking I am a diddler. Now sitting here at work with soaked pants and scorched dick and balls with 16 hours left of my shift to go.