I’ve sometimes wondered what would happen if I never died.

Nothing theatrical. I’d just keep on living and living, and nobody would complain. Not like it’s a problem.

Eventually I’d be the oldest person in the world. Which would feel pretty strange, but not unnatural; it has to be someone, and I guess that’s me.

Then I start encroaching on 120, and at this point I pretty much stopped aging about 40 years ago.

Still it continues.

Eventually people do start asking questions. It starts as jokes. Then gradually, people wonder what is preventing me from dying.

Those people too would grow old and die.

Now I am 130 years old. Doctors still run regular tests on me, but the novelty has long since faded. Everyone assumes I’m simply here until I’m not. There is nothing more to say.

Nothing more to say.

I turn my head in my bed. I’m more mobile than you’d expect.

I receive a message in whatever form messaging has taken a century from now. It’s an email from a pen pal of mine. (I have several young friends who regularly write.)

“Just thought you’d find this cute ;)”, read the subject line.

It’s a meme about how the child celebrity Justin Bieber is annoying.

We are the only things that are beyond death. And so we shall be, Justin Bieber Is An Annoying Child Celebrity Memes and I.

Until the death of God.