Our horde greatly increased its numbers last night. Congratulations, horde. We are now 200 steps closer to reaching our collective goal of winning me several tons of gold.

Now, I have been strategizing, and have concluded that this titanic surge in enlistment can only be explained by the image of a thick-ass she-elf that I have placed within this space. Therefore, as your commander, I now demand that you bring me more pictures of thick elves.

We need fat titties, thick thighs, and pointy ears, and keep it tasteful for the children. Also, if you know anyone else that would be worthy enough to serve within our ranks, please harass/cajole them into doing so. We need to be ever-increasing our numbers (and after assessing your equipment, I’m frankly quite concerned about most of you dying before we get any gold).

That is all.

\-Sir Ballsfart