Okay so this may sound like I’m messing with you but I promise I’m not. I was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease called cyroaudiovascularmalexia. Basically if I don’t get enough blood flow to my ears they will slowly freeze and will fall off, and it will spread to my inner ear and brain. There’s no cure for it except one, I need to constantly warm my ears and the only material soft enough is the inner thighs of a pretty girl so I need you to sit on my face for medical reasons.