Hello, my name is Teddy Walshburger, I’ve made some bad choices in life but I’m now on track. I married my wife at 17 while I was in high school. We both agreed that college was gay and we moved down south to a trailer park after graduating high school with all D-’s. My wife works full time at McDonalds, which is our only food source. I am the man of the trailer so I need to bring in the big bucks. I stream Minecraft for 16 hours a day for 3 viewers which are 3 stolen computers. My wifi is stolen from the power plant next door. Since money has been hard to get recently, I now donate sperm 8 times a day to help my family. I was able to rig up a machine that, every 2 hours, rings a bell telling me it’s time to go. I walk to this machine, it is a mechanical arm with a squash and some cooked noodles in it, to simulate a vagina. I press the button and it begins, this is all live on stream by the way, it caresses my 4cm destroyer and I unload into the noodles. I then sift through the noodles scraping my product off of each noodle, then I wash the noodles with a hose and put them back in. After my stream, and 8 loads, I deliver them to the sperm bank, 50 miles away by moped. I get $1000 a day and I spend it all on more noodles and minecraft things. I plan to have 10 kids someday so I may harvest their sperm as well. Thank You.