You’re a 2-legged, walking piece of fecal matter. Your life serves zero purpose. You’re the lowest of the low. You are lower than a pig. Even monkeys look down on you. Sheep won’t have sex with you. Alas, I cannot believe how stupid you are. Rock-hard stupid. Stupid stupid. So stupid that the other idiots make fun of you. If you entered an idiot contest, they would say no professional, you worthless bitchass. Heck, when a fowleri went through your nose, and made its way to your brain, thinking what a feast it’ll have, it saw your brain system and starved to death, you worthless bitchass hoe. You are a dumbass. A jackass. You are foolish, dumb, unintelligent, dense, brainless, and an ignoramus. When the aliens abducted you for dissection, they scanned your brain activity and threw you right out of the spaceship, you fucking dumbass hoe. You are a pig that has no use in the world, except for some great, tasty, snacky bacon. You eat people’s leftovers and wait pointlessly for your predestined death, as you will be shot and devoured at christmastime, you fucking fatass. I feel bad for your parents, who had to watch you grow up, only to find out how much of a disappointment you are. I feel debased knowing you even exist. I hope you are lonely, because you deserve no love whatsoever. You are a worthless, parasitic, useless, piece of waste. You are fat, dirty, lazy, and a shame. One day you dreamt about yourself losing 420 pounds of weight, but alas you woke up and saw your 69420 cm belly, you fucking bitchass hoe. You’re fatter than Nikado Avocado. You’re fatter than the asteroids that killed the dinosaurs. You’re so fat that when a farmer saw you his eyes lit up with delight, thinking about the delicious bacon that he’s going to fucking have for a lifetime. Your only purpose is to be fried and eaten. Your only purpose is to be cooked, deep fried, stuck in a toaster and being crunched to death. That’s the only purpose you have. At least when you die, you will know that you at least satisfied someone’s stomach, you worthless fat piece of hippo shit. I daresay that even mosquitoes are better than you, the vampirsal creatures who live off human laden animal blood. At least they provide some actual worth for this universe. You are the most useless, worthless, retarded, “human” being that has ever existed in the face of this earth. You should be a new species, called the dumbass. Not even a dumbass- shakespeare has to create a new word now. A word that’s stupider than a dumbass, a jackass, or an idiot. You are annoying, obnoxious, and your breath stinks. I feel bad for your friends (if you have any) who have to put up with your bullshit. Kill yourself. Seriously. You should fucking end your pointless life. Then hopefully, many hungry African children will feed on your dead corpse. Just stop existing at this point. Your life is just like a fat piece of hippo refusing to move out of the road, the cars and buses banging on your sides as they cuss in infuriation. They would hella be happier if you just killed yourself and died just like that. Instead of a funeral, it would be a party, a celebration, as they piss on your corpse and spit on your face. Legit, I don’t know how you’re still fucking alive right now. Your -69420 points of IQ should’ve gave you the inability to tell apart water and poison, you fucking jackass. I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten hit by a parked car. I’m astonished you haven’t died by slipping on a banana peel that a clown had left on his way to the fucking circus, whom I declare a saint. I’m flabbergasted how you haven’t peed you pants in fear on halloween night and died in the middle of the sidewalk just like that, as the ants feast on your corpse and the doritos that you had left in your right pocket. You are a waste of space. A waste of oxygen. The lowest servants mock you. Even the untouchables look at you with contempt and absolute disgust. Even the motherfucker pooper scoopers bully you at every chance that they get. You are the complete antonym of “worthy”. You are not even worthy of dog food. You are not even worthy of eating shit. The only thing you are worthy of is death, you miserable cunt. Trees and flowers appear to scowl and wither around you. When you touch grass, it instantly sinks into the ground out of instinct. Not even nature likes you. They despise you with every root of themselves. When you walked into the amazon forest, birds scowled and flew away, but not before ejecting guano all over your head, you fucking faggot. Monkeys on the trees urinate all over you before eating their bananas and running away. When a python tried to swallow you, it instantly spit you out because of how foul you fucking tasted. Not even the ground likes you. When you tried to kiss the ground because you had no one else to talk to, an earthquake occurred and buildings collapsed everywhere. One day you saw an ape, who was feeling quite depressed. You started to hug it when it suddenly ran away, rammed into a wall and killed itself, you fucking bitchass. He did not want to come in contact with your dirty, fat, worthless hands, bitch. When you tried to eat a big mac, the food tried to wriggle out of your mouth, doing anything it could to halt the process of it going to your stomach. Even ants hate you. They will do anything to dogpile your fatass body, calling their 69420 buddies to weigh you down on the ground, until you eventually die of suffocation. When you look into the sky, even the sun turns away from you. When you came eye-to-eye with a asteroid, it couldn’t stand seeing your horrendous face and went back to space, you fucking ugliass hoe. You are ugly, putrid, disgusting, and unattractive. Your looks are horrendous, horrible, and lethal. When a snake saw you, it injected venom into itself, resulting in its inevitable death because it could not afford to see your dreadful face. When you came up to the hospital to get plastic surgery, they kicked you right out of the building, you fucking bitchass. Your looks are such an abomination that blobfish run away from you, jumping out of the water and hopping on dry land, bypassing the laws of physics and gravity. Not even god loves you. Like legit, not even Him likes you. When you fucking went to church, windows broke and thunder boomed, you worthless bitchass. When you went to the fucking Mosque, Muslims started praying to Allah to forgive their sins, and to free them from this curse laden abomination. When you went to a fucking monastery, monks develop hatred for you, which is ironic, considering they devote their whole life to finding “peace”. When you took a picture of yourself on your phone, it automatically went into self-destruction, you fucking ugliass. You’re lower than a fucking furry, you fucking heard me right. You’re worse than the abominations that cosplay/roleplay in the cringiest way that would likely kill a grown man. You’re even lower than the average Genshin Impact player, who averages between 69 hours simping for his favorite underage character. You’re worse than the discord mods, the fat species who moderate 420 discord servers 24/7, grooming little children and telling people to “please not post memes in general”. Your dignity is no more smaller than an atom. A speck. A particle. A quark. Even a sped kid could do better than you. You should probably end your life now, to save more oxygen for the rest of this world, and give somebody else a piece of that oxygen in the ozone layer that’s covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Because what are you here for? Let’s cut to the chase- you’re the most worthless piece of shit I have ever seen. Good riddance to you, and may you go to another planet, and die in isolation. Who knows! Maybe there are more “people” that are the same species as you. In conclusion, you have no value for this earth. Nobody wants you here. Nobody asked for you to be born. Nobody asked for your existence. Lock yourself into a confined space and stay there until you die of depression laden loneliness, you worthless, scummy, useless, fat, piece of shit. I’m sorry- I can’t go on. I do not want to waste any more time on your fucking ugliass. One more tip for you before I go: There’s this really cool thing called a “noose”. I really think it would be suitable for you, for worthless “people” like you, that is. Either that, or you can overdose on heroin. Another way to die right there. Thank you for your kind attention to and expected cooperation in this matter.


I technically broke the record for the longest insult in this reddit, which was this guy’s: [https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/2qmqzz/an\_essay\_to\_insult\_someone/](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/2qmqzz/an_essay_to_insult_someone/)