“Oh wow, he lives with his parents! What a loser sksksksksk!”

Sorry Veronica, but I can assure you that I am not the loser here. I have a fully furnished spacious room, my very own full bathroom, a fully functional kitchen, and to top it all off I don’t even have to pay rent. The most that I ever have to do is help around the house, especially now that they’re getting older and that they work 40+ hours a week. I keep the house, especially my own room, spotless.

I have a very wonderful relationship with my parents and they want me to save up my money so that eventually I’ll be able to buy my own home and start a family of my own. Meanwhile you’re paying $1000+ a month to live with roommates that you hate in a decrepit cramped apartment in the slums all because you couldn’t get along with your parents. You work three jobs and your bank account is still in the red. The only times you call your parents is to beg for money. Your dishes are piling up both sinks. Your stove needs to be cleaned. Your room has dirty clothes are scattered across your floor. Your bed sheets are stained. Your sex toys are just sitting there uncleaned, out in the open. There’s a copy of Infinite Jest on your bookshelf. Need I say more?

So who really is the loser? I think it is you, Veronica. Also you have ugly feet.