-“This is Kerry Notcule reporting for CockSnot news. The current overpopulation of our prisons has reached alert level black, leaving those who are still the most uncool to fend for themselves against the cool dude uprising. The court systems in Boreshire are running over full capacity and are crumbling under the weighty shades of the cool dudes, who are making life hard for those not cool enough to be cool.
This is possibly one of the final televised news broadcasts before the total collapse of society as we know it. The cool dudes are taking over, and I’m not sticking around to see myself memulised by the ‘cool guy’ internet. Time to go read a book.”
-“Back to Sheryl Uünfun, at the CockSnot newsroom.”
-“Sheryl?”
“I’m too cool for you now, Kerry. I joined our company in the transition to CoolGuy network on the not-telly… (Sheryl removes shades, producing no effect, as Sheryl is too cool for school, and simply cannot remove said shades) …Lates, Kezza” (Sheryl flies into the sun on a segway).