This morning my wife and I had a rare toilet jam (we only have one toilet in our house — some Westerns undermine their luxuries in spite of me earning relatively a lot) I needed to piss and she gotta poop.

So I waited while twiddling my thumbs and walking around the room until I couldn’t hold it anymore. And she took her sweet time with the poop (not that I blame her — maybe she had something and we’ve been drinking a lot).

So after she finished she kept trying to steer me away from the toilet. And I’m like, “I’m fine, just need to piss.” And she’s like, just wait a little while. We have this fan thing.

But I really gotta go pee. So I entered the bathroom and I got poop fumes. But it really smelled like my own because we’ve been eating mostly the same times. I was surprised at how familiar the poop smelled. It really smelled like my own poop.

And that’s when I felt a deep sense of love today. Except I came out ready to embrace her poop smell which I couldn’t distinguish from mine and she was all irritable. I guess I’ll fix it with dinner or something. But I want to show her how similar our poop smells are.