Am I a demon?

Yes.

I tend to be more low key about it, but being asked about it outright is actually somewhat refreshing.

The last centuries, things have really gone downhill for me. I miss being able to shed my human skin and fly around terrorizing any living person I would come across without being filmed by someone and having it posted to YouTube as though I were their digital artwork. Or without being mistaken for a commercial drone and not inducing any terror. At ALL.

Cities are really dense. They are filled with so many delicious humans to eat or deceive. But I seriously can’t STAND how expensive your housing has gotten. It’s like, with gentrification, it’s too expensive to buy a place big enough to hoard gold to actually hoard gold IN.

And suburban areas? You really need to repair your infrastructure. I can’t eat you or even feed off of your dreams for a snack if you sit in traffic for hours both ways commuting and only get a few hours of sleep.

And everyone eats SO much processed food. Seriously. Even if I get to eat one of you, you’ve been eating all of that and you go straight to my hips: Demons are not body positive and you also spike my sugar sometimes. I would be less cranky if you would eat organic and low sugar or vegan before I eviscerated your entrails. But when you do you leave me hungry an hour later. It’s frankly inconsiderate.

Thank you for asking.

I ate my therapist.