So I went to beat it in the bathroom, cock in hand. I finished and got the urge to shit. My cock was too big when erect, so I had to point it out of the toilet while I shat. While pushing the shit out of my ass, the negative pressure in my body, pressing in my organs squeezed out the last bit of cum from my cock, and now there’s cum on my wall, and a massive shit log that reinserted itself in my ass due to me getting startled seeing my cum fly across the room. AITA?

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Tl;dr: i decided to shit right after masturbating and cumming, and the pressure launched a tiny bit of cum i had left inside with the speed of a satellite onto the opposite wall.