Club Penguin is shutting down on March 29, 2017 supposedly to mark the opening and transition onto their new title called Club Penguin Island, everything seems innocent enough, right? But what if I told you this has all been planned and set up by the government, more specifically the Clinton Foundation, to stop the massive flow of Clinton critical emails being leaked through a seemingly harmless social game like Club Penguin. When people think back to the original Clinton leaks, everyone points towards Russia and Trump, they’re practically doing it themselves, but what if that’s exactly what the Clinton Foundation wants you to think. Club Penguin is being bought out and shut down to stop the primary way of communication between government separatists.

Now you might be asking, “but /u/DaiHappy, whadabout clubb benguin isslan-” and I’ll stop you right there because the answer is obvious, Club Penguin Island, if what they’re calling it, is going to be a heavily government monitored game designed strategically to catch and neutralize Anti-Clinton radicals. While we sit here and sulk over a petty game being shut down, remember this, Hillary is probably beating a poor puppy to death with a dildo as we speak, we are too blind and stupid to realize how to stop it. It’s time to open your eyes people, Hillary didn’t lose, Hillary will come back, enjoy your last breath of fresh air because in 2020 it will be us who Hillary beats to death with a dildo.