According to American media, Osama Bin Laden was assassinated on May 2nd. Recently, people have been making claims of seeing Osama’s ghost walking around the streets of East Harlem, New York.

“The residents in the area aren’t taking the situation very lightly” Says the mayor of East Harlem. “People are moving out of the city because of the rumors and sightings. A few weeks ago, one of our sheriffs mysteriously disappeared after investigating claimed sightings of Osama throwing obscene gang signs in a local park. Nobody could get in touch with him. Yesterday he was found naked and unconscious in front of the police station.” Forensics later discovered that the sheriff had actually been brutally raped. “He had a tattoo on his left ass cheek. It said ‘TUPAC AND OSAMA LIVE FOREVER. FUCK YOUR GRAND PAPPIES, WE RAPE THEM'”

“It felt like they kept me tied there forever. I was only spoon fed marijuana the whole time, and Tupac would piss in my mouth every three seconds.” Said Mr.Dumbroski, the abducted investigating sheriff. “I just there…. Watching them smoke marijuana while torturing me. They would just have their way with me every five minutes. Now I have to get surgery to stop my asshole from bleeding every time I take a piss. The last thing they told me was to tell everyone that they’re not dead. They said they’re pissed and they’re going to bring back the hood. Then they beat me in the head with their monstrous cocks and I just blacked out.” Investigators are still trying to find a connection between the two people. When investigators found the sheriff in front of the police station, they found a photograph of Osama and Tupac lodged up sheriff Dumbroski’s dickhole.”- Article from New York Weekly News, 5/4/2011