Me: Bored Af

Me: Anyone wanna hear a pickup line?

Girl: go for it

Me: U know why they call me a broken umbrella?

Girl: why?

Me: Cause when u get under me you’ll end up soaking wet 😎😎

Dude on group chat😠: because your useless?

Me in an act of pure coochie magneting: Calling a broken umbrella useless is the exact problem with our post industrial revolution society. Accepting the obsolescence of broken objects rather than fixing them and feeding into the constant consumerism of our society is precisely why our planet is collapsing into the endless mess it is. All of our resources are being mined up just for them to be put back into a landfill. The greenhouse gasses produced from such manufacturing is one of the main reasons why the world is ending. Despite the 2020 lockdowns the worlds greenhouse gases are at an all time high level and the sudden rise in extreme weather events in Europe and around the world are a sign of this. So please, please, please try and fix things and invest in higher quality rather than feeding into this endless cycle caused by capitalist greed.

Girl: that was hottt

Me: You know it baby