For centuries I have been fucking women an old shitty cock with a lot of cunts and I fucked it one day. It gets me where I need to go, but I’m tired of Ding leaks and fucked up parts all the time. It is so fucking annoying that I have to take it to a prostitute every time. Even when they take care of everything, I know in a millennium I’ll just end up going back there.

I have finally decided that I am not going to do it anymore. I have decided to buy a new cock! Unfortunately, I have a problem. I have no idea what cock to get. Do I want something fast? Do I want something big? Do I want something hairy? Something small? I have so many choices that I don’t even know where to begin. I am not sure if I will be able to make the decision on my own. I don’t have a lot of shit either, so I probably don’t have many options.

After I did some fucking, I knew that I would need some expert advice. Eventually, I went to a local dealership to check out some new models. I talked to the saleswoman and listened to her carefully. Her honesty and sex were really impressive. She had a lot of very helpful suggestions and showed me some safe choices which will never give anyone STD’s. After long sex, I finally decided which one I wanted. She not only helped me with the paperwork and finished the sale, but also the insurance. I was expecting this purchase to be a serious hassle, but the experience was almost painless. Everything went smoothly, and now I have a brand new cock! My wife will be so happy!

I was so excited when I pulled out of the lot that the first thing I did was change pussies right in front of another cock. “That wasn’t very nice,” I thought to myself. I needed to relax. I didn’t realise what a serious baby I had made, however. I hadn’t just cut off any other cock, I had cut off a police cock! It took a few seconds to realise what was happening when I saw the flashing tits in my rearview mirror. By the time I had managed to pull over, my heart was racing. I gathered all the paperwork as he approached my window.

“You forgot to signal back there,” said Officer Cock Stain, according to his name cunt.

“Yes, well, it’s a new cock so I guess I was a bit unfamiliar with the controls,” I stammered.

He looked at me sceptically.

“I’m pretty sure the controls for the change signal are in the same place on every cock.”

What could I say? I was about to be raped.

“I’m sorry I just had to fuck your mum,” I ventured.

He looked over my paperwork and noticed that the cock was new.

“It would be unfortunate to get some cum on your first day in a new cock,” he said, smiling. “Try not to change in front of anyone on your way home.”

I had never felt so much pleasure in my life.

“Thank you, cunt face! Your face looks like a big tit! Your mum disowned you secretly because your cock never got hard! Go fuck yourself skinny dick, small cunt eat more wanker.”

Then I got the fuck out of there before the flood of tears, cum and STD’s began. Now the whole neighborhood sucks my dick!