Being morbidly obese is a lifestyle choice, just like being vegan or joining a cult. I chose to embrace the sweet, sweet bliss of overeating and never looking back. I also enjoy having my own gravitational pull.

As for my day, it’s pretty straightforward. Wake up, eat breakfast (which usually consists of a whole cake or two), take a nap, eat lunch (a gallon of ice cream or two), watch TV, take another nap, eat dinner (a whole pizza or two), and then pass out. Rinse and repeat. but don’t be fooled, it’s hard work. My favourite part of the day is when I get to shame skinny people at the gym. Watching them sweat and struggle makes me feel powerful and superior.

And my favourite part of my body? Definitely my belly. It’s like a fleshy pillow that I can rest my arms on. It’s also great for storing snacks for later. It’s like my own personal snack tray – always within arm’s reach and ready to provide me with sustenance whenever I need it. Plus, it’s a great conversation starter. People always ask me if I’m pregnant, and I get to tell them that I’m just fat and fabulous.

So why did I become morbidly obese? Well, it’s simple really. Food is my drug of choice. I love the way it tastes, the way it feels in my mouth, and the way it fills the void in my soul. Some people turn to drugs or alcohol, but for me, it’s all about the food. And honestly, life is too short to deny yourself the pleasure of a good cheeseburger.

So, to answer your question, yes, I do enjoy my life. I may not be able to tie my own shoes or fit into a normal-sized bathtub, but I am happy and fulfilled in my own way. And if anyone tries to tell me otherwise, I’ll just sit on them.