at a circus i just walked up to a lady i was like “can i have dollar mom i wanna get a drink” the lady looks down at me confused oh….sorry miss….looks around where did mom go? “i dunno but here” oh….no thank you..its your money you dont have to give it to me but…..thanks? “i insist sweetie” squints…okay if you insist take the dollar and shakes her hand and instantly bolts off to buy a lemonade. and then i musta took a few wrong turns coming back because i ended up in the area in the back where they keep their only elephant tied up. and i just stood their looking at the elephant and the empty cage in the way back…that was the best day ever i got see and elephant up close and one of the ring master dudes (steriotypical red coat with tails and everything just yelled ‘ hey kid what are you doing back here?!” i got lost….and i REALLY wanna pet the effalant sir. he just gives me a look like “da fuq is this dipshit talking about” and some lady came in and started to talk to him about her next thing and he said he’d go deal with the problem and take care of this kid. the pretty lady asked me if i was lost i just kinda gave her a sideways glance like “well duh” and kept staring at the LITERAL elephant in the room she just looked at me and looked at the elephant and said “hes pretty cool huh” yeah…..but why doesnt he have the….horns?? i thought elephants have….like teeth but they stick out “oh its a safety precaution for the other animals” oh…..can i pet him? the lady looked at me flustered looked out the door to the hallways and then said “i suppose but try not to scare him, no sudden movements and move slowly okay?” REALLY?!!?!?! me jumping up and down yeaaaah i walk as slow as i can for as excited as i am and pat the elephant on the trunk hello mr. elephant im shredmanygnar i hope your doing okay here! and then the lady handed me an apple and told me to give to him….i held it out here mr. elephant for being nice enough to let me pet you *he grabbed it with the end of his trunk and jammed the apple in his mouth. and then the lady hurried me out of the room fast as fuck and ditched me in the hallway which lead to the main seating area…..and then i was sad. i little kid me met my first elephant and all i did was pat his trunk tell him hello and then fed him an apple. i shoulda attempted to hug him. and then i ran back to the seating area and mom was waving this silver stuffed alien my best buddy bought that day. and i got back to the seat and they were all “where have you been? you said you went to get a drink” well….i did….and then i got lost….and i met mr.elephant and fed him an apple “oh…” and then i didnt get left alone again because what if i met one of the tigers or something and gotten eaten…..and we never went to another circus. which sucks. im sure mr. elephant is dead by now.