You should never take seemingly mundane happenings for face value. Believe me, I would know. One time long ago, there I was, minding my own business on the pot and felt this healthy turd moving through my gut flora. Before I knew it, this turd the size of a bugs bunny’s carrot slide through my rectum and slapped the water harder than James Randi’s million dollar psychic challenge. Yet my left leg was wet…somehow…and the water had literally curled around the toilet bowl, went under the seat, and BAM. Hit my left leg like it meant business. Why, you may ask? Who knows, but I swear to you. I felt it. I feel like it’s an omen from the heavens to get off my lazy @$$ and do something with my life. Now I can finally say that I had toilet water mysteriously hit my leg hairs. I had a new job opportunity open up to me not long after this and it’s a miracle. Don’t ever brush off anything in life, no matter how seemingly weird or extravagant they may seem. But honestly, thank God I never hit my left nut. I still don’t even know how my nuts are dry, while my left leg is wet. I would probably have been F***ed if it hit me in the nuts, and I will consider that bad luck for future reference.