If the nigger lunges at you, jump into water (niggers, though superior in land, are horrible swimmers). If you are in an area without water (such as the ghetto or the desert plains of Africa) run in a zigzag motion towards a police station or the white part of town. This will surely confuse him.

Whatever you do, DON’T climb a tree. Niggers have had plenty of practice at this sort of thing, as their tree-climbing instincts were honed to a razor edge deep in the jungles of Africa.

Another popular defense against niggers is to carry nigger spray. This has soap and water in it which niggers hate. If you spray the nigger he may change his mind or break off an attack; although he may become infuriated and enter a furious black rage.