Oh my fucking god. I’ve done it again. This time it was Flaming Hot Fritos. I had just finished eating a big ass, family size bag of these bad boys and was extremely horny. I tried to prevent the inevitable, I swear. I tried to wash the Frito dust from my fingers but it just stuck, it wouldn’t come off. No matter what I did, that signature red flare was stuck to my fingers. Finally, I gave into my primal urges and decided to finger myself so I did. I don’t know why but this time it hurt worse. Much more worse. Maybe it’s because of the sodium in the Fritos or the water enhanced the power and radius of the dust? I don’t know. Point is, don’t finger yourself with Flaming Hot Anythings for the love of Jesus H. Christ, it hurts like hell and you’d wish you had normal cravings like Sour Cream and Onion Lays (which don’t burn very badly).