“I’m sorry officer but you’ve got it all wrong. She may look like a 3 month old, but she’s a 600 year old immortal vampire, thus making this intercourse perfectly legal under United States age of consent laws. I am not committing a crime.”


*image of anime loli*


“You see officer, that is the chi-I mean Vampire in question. Please ignore my Twitter account where I call myself a MAP in my bio and describe my age of attraction as “0-6”.”


*image of a knight*


“In fact, me and my comrade hear have decided that, age of consent laws are kinda cringe. We shall crusade against teliophiles such as yourself, officer”


*image of the doom logo, but with the text changed to read “DOOT”*


“In fact, me and my comrade hear have decided that, age of consent laws are kinda cringe. We shall crusade against teliophiles such as yourself, officer”


*image of, presumably underage, anthropomorphic animal*


“Oh never mind officer. It seems you may agree, as you seem to enjoy undera- I mean, adult women, as much as myself, as you seem to be showing me this”